As I take a moment to think about my time as a footballer, I can't help but wonder what I would say to my younger self if I had the chance. Why did I choose this tough career? Was it really what I wanted? Did I fully grasp the challenges ahead in chasing my long-term goals? Signing that professional contract felt like reaching the finish line — a promise of security from the club. Little did I know, it was just the start of a rollercoaster ride.
Football Culture
Football is all about change; players come and go, managers are hired and sacked instantly, and coaching staff seem to shift constantly. As a young player trying to make my mark, I often found it hard to ask the tough questions: Who could I turn to for help? Should I just "go with the flow" and hope someone eventually notices my struggles? The culture in football often makes us feel that having problems is a sign of weakness, leaving little room for honesty.
Growing up, all I wanted was to impress my family. Their opinions meant everything to me, and their encouragement kept me motivated. Moments like making it through academy football or playing for England were proud times that assured me I was on the right path.
Yet, looking back on my early playing days, I must admit that I didn't do enough. It’s not that I didn’t train hard or give my best; rather, I see now that I didn't use all my resources to reach my full potential.
The 24/7 lifestyle
Accepting this reality is tough. Football has a way of shaping you into an identity that might not even be yours. It's a 24/7 lifestyle, consumed by the game all year round. During the off-season, while others might relax, I found myself anxious about the upcoming pre-season — another tough year of uncertainty. I often let the tide carry me along, hoping it would lead me in the right direction, instead of setting a clear path for my growth.
